• Lisa Kimondo
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Curious to explore other career options? Here’s how to get started:

In this period of discovery, it’s very easy to feel moments of self doubt, even when you are 100% sure you made the right decision. It’s normal to....

Two days ago, I had the opportunity to share my story and how my different explorations have been vital in my journey so far (you can listen in on the podcast here). My life has been characterized by hard stops (deliberate times of reflection) and sharp turns (transitions into unchartered waters). Here are some lessons I picked up on how to manage (because it’s never really gone) one’s self-doubt and confusion before taking a huge leap. I hope this article will give you the push and encouragement you need to get moving, whatever that means to you.

Be kind and patient with yourself

In this period of discovery, it’s very easy to feel moments of self doubt, even when you are 100% sure you made the right decision. It’s normal to panic and experience moments of inadequacy. Such is the fate of being human. During this time, it’s important to deliberately create pockets of silence for yourself.

Remind yourself why you made the decision that you did. Embrace the confusion, but don’t allow it on the journey with you. This is easier said than done!

In today’s world it’s very easy to feel like taking a break or starting over is falling behind. And with time, this desperate urge to catch up overwhelms us and we find ourselves latching on to things that weren’t meant for us just for the sake of motion. Remember, movement does not equals progress! I repeat, movement does not equals progress! Often times we have to go slow to go fast.

So embrace this stage that you are in! Thrive in the silence, experience the go-slow and when you are ready to move, give it all you’ve got.

Stay true to yourself

Now you’ve created those pockets of silence, what next? Search within yourself and listen.

Is this what I really want? Or what I’m expected to want? Did I actually like it, or am I just doing it because I’m good at it?

This period requires a lot of self reflection, reading, journaling, brainstorming and maybe even coaching to figure out what you really want to do and how to do it.

Story time:

During my final years as an Engineering Student, I began to realise that though I was good at it, I didn’t want to be a practising Engineer (took a long time for me to accept this), but engineering is all I had. I loved facilitating and working with young people and so I began to use my engineering skills as the vehicle to get me to where I want to be, that is, training young people.

I grew my coding skills and became a trainer, did a few contract jobs and eventually became a program lead running a high school coding program.

Starting out, I had no idea where this path would lead and I often got frustrated at the lack of opportunities that suited my interests. But with time, the dots began to connect and it all started to make sense

Sometimes the desired path might not be easy to get to. If starting over isn’t an option, it’s important to think about how you can use what you have to get to where you want to be. Make a plan, stay true to that path (be open/flexible to try different routes) and work towards your desired goal.

Have a support system

During this period, it’s common to feel overwhelmed and alone. Where possible, surround yourself with people who either understand what you are going through, people who are where you want to be or friends who understand why you made that decision and can keep you from making rash decisions in the throes of confusion and self doubt.

Respectfully reach out to people in your desired space/industry, cold message people on LinkedIn, email — You’d be shocked how many people are actually willing to share their nuggets of wisdom with you.

Read books that can give you a sense direction. Books I recommend (I’ve placed links to the respective TED-talks or summaries to give you an idea of the contents of the book):

  • Defining decade by Meg Jay — For young people everywhere in their 20s. You will not regret reading this book.

  • Visible expert — How to put yourself out there and build your own brand in today’s world.

  • Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert— For those exploring the creative space, though I recommend it for all.

  • Creators code (this summary article might also be insightful)by Amy Wilkinson — For those with an entrepreneurial spirit.

Applications that can help you stay still:

  • Insight timer — Great app for 5–10 minutes meditation to help you start your day with intention.

Remember, mentors can be in the form of books, podcasts, people etc. Make use of what’s available to you.

Put yourself out there:

Lastly experiment, experiment, experiment!

Try all the things you know you are interested in if circumstances allow. Be it being in a band, writing, being a human rights activist, building a business, changing industries, trying out this role or another. Basically put yourself out there!

Most of us have no idea where we are headed or doing but we only get to know what we like/don’t like and what we excel in and don’t by experimenting (this could be by trying it out, talking to someone who’s been there, reading about it etc, there are many different ways to experiment)

Another book I recommend (again I’ve attached a TED talk):

  • Designing your life -This book guides you on how to create an MVP (i.e. the most simple & low cost experiment to get the feedback/data you need) for your life, I’m talking low stakes, high return kind of things.

I honestly believe that we all have the capacity to try all that we want to (within reason of course).

Treat your life as an experiment, prototype some of these ‘alternative lives’ by talking to people in that space or giving it a brief, low stakes attempt. You might find that you only like it as a hobby and proceed with it as that, or that you only loved the idea of it, or maybe even though you are good at it, it doesn’t bring you that sense of satisfaction that something else does. In that instance, it’s time to bid that dream goodbye and move on to the next thing. The more you try and find what you don’t like, the closer you come to finding what it is that you really like. So take a chance and put yourself out there!

Disclaimer: If you have no idea what you want to do, no need to worry, sometimes we have to actually do something, get good at it and then the passion/love for it follows. I’ll try and touch on this in-depth at a later date but before then, watch the designing your life TED talk and this summary on ‘So good they can’t ignore you’ and get the books as well. Find consolation in the fact that we are all just figuring out life as we move along.

To bring this all home, once you’ve taken that leap, or are about to make the move, remember to:

  1. Be kind and patient with yourself.

  2. Stay true to yourself.

  3. Have a support system be it friends, books, podcasts etc.

  4. Put yourself out there.

We have our whole lifetime to explore all that we want to. To fail, grow and start over. So why are you holding back?

Let’s go forth and explore!

#ChooseToThrive

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