From self rejection to ‘Yes, and…’

Taking leaps as an adult is one of the hardest things I have had to do. And so I do what most of us self-preserving adults do: I tell myself NO.

Taking leaps as an adult is one of the hardest things I have had to do. The crippling anxiety brought about by uncertainty, the unsolicited opinions of those around you (I’m guilty of this as well), the possibility of failure! It all makes me want to pull my hair out every time I think of trying something new. And so I do what most of us self-preserving adults do:

I tell myself NO.

I mean that’s just the logical thing to do, no? (Me grinning from side to side :D)

This is how conversations go in my head:

Child-like Lisa: ‘I should definitely start writing again!’

Adult Lisa: ‘What do you even have to say? What new perspective will you bring? You need to read more/have more experience. Naaah, maybe in a few years’ 

Child-like Lisa: ‘I will be great at that job!’ 

Adult Lisa: ‘Really? Hmm, I don’t think so. What makes you think you can do this? Naah, just stick to your lane.’ 

Before you know it, my child-like state has no more to give because she knows there’s no point. Her flame has been put out by the constant wet blanket that is my adult self. Yet we do all this in the name of ‘protecting ourselves’ not knowing that it is doing more harm than good. Even company brainstorming sessions (if done right) aren’t as harsh as this!

If you read about the art of brainstorming and how to build a culture of innovation in a company, you’ll immediately see what is wrong with the dialogue above. In brainstorming, there is no bad idea. All ideas are welcome, be it good, bad, small, big! The crazier the better. This gives room for a lot of amazing and feasible ideas!

Creativity and safety is nurtured. Yes, failure is inevitable, but what’s the worst failure can do than just show you one less path to follow. It’s more often than not the light that leads you to the right path.

So the next time you feel the urge to self-reject, take a minute and see where that self-rejection is coming from. Is it from fear? Force of habit? or the all too common imposter syndrome? Regardless, the next time self-rejection knocks on your door, I urge you to adapt the ‘Yes and’ approach. You have the whole world to tell you NO, so why take on that responsibility?

Let your being be a safe space where your creativity has room to thrive and ideas are let to roam free, not the place where ideas and dreams go to die. Brainstorm with yourself! Pick up a pen and paper and have fun. Iterate the ideas and let them evolve into what’s feasible. Test it and iterate again. Bring your child-like state back to life and next time they speak let your adult-self reply with:

‘Yes, and…’

All the best on your journey!

#ChooseToThrive

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