You Are What You Do

Welcome to the Bi-weekly Monday Digest!

Here’s a quick recap of the #HabitSeries so far; We’ve talked about:

Part 1: The science of habits aka the habit formation loop.

Part 2: A 4 step framework you can use to break those bad habits and create new ones. (with a ready-to-use template)

In today's article (Part 3 of the #HabitSeries), we'll talk about the role our identity plays in behaviour change and vice versa before concluding the #HabitSeries with a booklet summarizing the 4 fundamental laws of human behaviour in the next Monday Digest Edition.

Disclaimer: This article is based on insights from The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg & Atomic Habits by James Clear. At the end of the #HabitSeries, I'll share a summarized booklet with tips and tricks you can readily apply in your day-to-day life. If interested, be sure to subscribe by clicking the button below.

THE IDENTITY-BEHAVIOUR CYCLE

Do you know who you are as a person? What your beliefs are? What you value?

Does what you do match who you think you are? And does who you think you are match what you do?

What you do (your behaviour) is a reflection of who you are (your identity) and eventually who you are (your identity) becomes a reflection of what you do (your behaviour). They form a continuous feedback loop. Your identity shapes your behaviour and your behaviour, in return, shapes your identity. It’s a never-ending cycle.

If you believe you are a reader, chances are you will go above and beyond to ensure you read and by reading more, you reinforce your identity as a reader.

If you believe you are an athlete, you will push to workout everyday and by working out everyday, you reinforce your identity as an athlete.

If you believe you are dependable, you will always show up for those around you and by showing up, you reinforce your identity as dependable.

Often times, our behaviour matches our identity. We have an internal pressure to behave in a way that is consistent with our perceived identity. For example, if you believe you are a competent individual, no matter how impossible a task may be or unreasonable a deadline may be, you will pull all-nighters to complete the task to maintain your identity as a ‘competent individual’.

When we start to go against our beliefs or who we believe we are, we experience cognitive dissonance. Looking at the example above, if we fail to complete the task and meet the deadline, we begin to feel incompetent and our identity takes a hit. Who we believe we are and our behaviour does not align and this shakes up our belief in self and introduces self-doubt. And that’s why for majority of us, when our identity becomes involved, we will go above and beyond (eg pull all-nighters) to ensure our behaviour matches our identity.

And this is the biggest answer to behaviour-change/changing a habit: Align your new behaviour to your identity.

UNDERSTAND YOUR WHY

Changing a habit is not just about changing the behaviour. It’s about understanding who you want to be and taking baby steps to get there.

If you want to wake up early everyday, what’s your why? What identity are you trying to form?

If you want to workout more often, what’s your why? Who do you desire to be?

The same goes if you are trying to break a habit. Understand your why. Why do you engage in that habit? What identity is that habit attached to? It’s only by understanding your why and uncovering the underlying beliefs (identity) that led to that habit that you can begin the change process. 

Unfortunately most of the time, we attempt to change the behaviour, instead of changing the identity that forms the basis of the behaviour. These results-driven habits are what we call Outcome Based Habits (See Arrow A).

Changing your behaviour is not about the results (outcomes), or how you do it (the process). It’s about changing who you are (identity) and using that foundation to change the ‘how’ and eventually the ‘what’. Habits that are formed this way are known as Identity Based Habits (See Arrow B).

To achieve sustainable and long lasting results, you need to form identity based habits. You can form identity based habits through these two steps:

1. Decide the type of person you want to be.

2. Prove it to yourself with small wins.

If I want to identify as a writer or be known as a writer, I need to write as often as possible. I can now attach an outcome to my desired identity as a writer, e.g writing an article every month.

If I want to identify as a physically fit person or be known as one, I need to work out as often as possible. I can now attach a fitness behaviour to my desired identity as a physically fit person.

By deciding the type of person you want to be, then aligning your behaviour to that identity, you are creating a continuous feedback loop where your identity informs your behaviour and your behaviour informs your identity.

So as we conclude, ask yourself:

1. Who do I want to be? What do I want to be known for?

2. How can I solidify this identity with small wins? What can I do to prove this identity to myself everyday?

Understanding your why, is the key to unlocking and informing what you do. By understanding your identity you can finally answer the question, “Why do I do what I do?” and make the necessary changes to align your behaviour to who you want to be.

I wish you all the best on your #HabitChange journey! And as usual in case of any questions or suggestions of topics to tackle, I’m an email away.

Until next time, have a lovely week.

#ChooseToThrive